THE WHITE LOTUS

*This is a work of pure speculation, written in the vain and possibly delusional hope that by inhabiting the richly drawn world and inimitable style of a singular creative voice, I myself will somehow draw nearer the brilliance that so vividly animates him, and perhaps one day attain some scant fraction of his richly deserved and long overdue success.

In the unlikely event that someone other than myself or my boyfriend or my friend Grace comes into possession of this script and deigns to read it, please enjoy it for the work of delirious, frothy, swooning fan service that it is, all the while bearing in mind that neither Mike White, nor HBO, nor Warner Bros. Discovery, nor any affiliated or concerned parties have approved, condoned, or otherwise commissioned the content herein.

And in the even more unlikely event that this script should find its way into the hands of Mike White, HBO, Warner Bros. Discovery, or any other affiliated or concerned party, please accept in advance my sincere gratitude for giving over even a moment of your time to indulging the whims of an utterly unknown and unproven talent, whose only hope is that his words may move, inspire, challenge, confound, and otherwise rise to the level of true art, such that one day, many years from now, he may look back on all that he has achieved and remark to himself: “I have nurtured my gifts; I have fulfilled my potential; I have lived well, and fully, and graciously, and generously; and I have made so much fucking money.”

Thank you.